Non-Asthmatic

 (David McNew, Getty Images )

There's a stigma being a doctor's wife.  People think I know things.  Medical things.  Like I get some secret medical knowledge by sleeping with my husband. I don't.  I can give you a laymom's opinion, but it comes with a disclaimer.  And that is:  But what the hell do I know?

I myself do not know anything about medicine.  I don't have to.  I have the best medical reference on call 24/7.  My husband.  But the thing is, he's also my husband, which means I sometimes doubt his medical advice.  Simply because I also sleep with him.  

So about 5 years ago when I developed a shallow cough that wouldn't go away, he diagnosed me quickly.  "You have asthma.  Here's an inhaler." To which I defensively replied,  "I DON'T  have asthma! So, I don't need an inhaler."

When we moved to Morocco, my cough suddenly and mysteriously completely disappeared for two and a half years.  Cured!  But when we returned to the dry, under oxygenated air of Colorado it returned.  I get long coughing fits.   And I'm sure it causes the general public to question whether I have tuberculosis.  And whether they should call the Center for Disease Control and have me quarantined.  

"I STILL DO NOT HAVE ASTHMA!"

I am nothing, if not stubborn.  Until this past weekend.  When I went to a friend's birthday party.  And coughed for 6 hours.  SIX HOURS!  Of course I didn't have an inhaler.  Of course I didn't tell anyone I needed one.  Of course I just kept coughing.  Until the very end of the night when I admitted defeat and asked my husband if he had an inhaler with him.  You know, for my non-asthma.  

(My husband brought me an inhaler and patiently guided me through using it like a child during the writing of this post.  Because I am a child.  A stubborn child.  An asthmatic stubborn child. Thank god he's used to this, because he's a pediatrician after all. )

MY NAME IS MARIE AND I HAVE ASTHMA.