Forced

Photo:  solarroadways.com

I had a completely different post lined up for today.  I spent a considerable amount of time on it too.  But, I ditched it.  Because, while it was funny, it was also forced.

I knew it from the beginning and it unsettled me.  But,  I plowed on despite my misgivings.  Investing more time.  Cultivating and tweaking, wanting to craft it into something it never was and was never capable of being.

Every step of the way I heard the voice inside my head.  And every step of the way, I disregarded it and plowed right on through to the next step. And when I was done and still wasn't comfortable with it, I contemplated publishing it anyway. For hours.  After all, I'd put so much work into it.

Why the hell would I do that?

I've learned this lesson so many times over and over again.  Or I thought I did.  Listen to your gut.  Be authentic. Forget arbitrary deadlines, meaningless statistics, stupid popularity contests and promoting sales.  Nothing, especially a cheap laugh, is worth the price of feeling disingenuous.  

Maybe, just maybe I've finally learned that now.