The Big Reveal

Clyde's tail swatch of one of the paint colors.

When I last left you, I was writing about how I half ass everything while finishing up my impromptu bedroom renovation.  Caused by my dogs (Bonnie & Clyde) whom I have a co-dependent relationship with, pissing on my carpet so many times the urine permeated down to the subfloor.  And yet, I still won't kennel them.  But, how can I be pissed at them?  I did gain a whole new appreciation of hating home improvement projects and a Bali-inspired bedroom out of it!

The before pic: A whiter shade of pale.

We'd never gone to any extraordinary measures to do anything to our bedroom.  We came, we saw, we stopped seeing, we closed our eyes, we slept.  Cause it's a bedroom.  We spend time in there with our eyes closed.  But when it came time for a change, I got an idea almost immediately from a little miniature globe that sat on my dresser for over a year because I didn't know where to hang it.  I still don't.  But, I do have a penchant for globes and maps.

The penchanted over homeless mini-globe.

In real life, I vehemently hate teal, In globe life, I loved the color of the ocean.  And Australia.  Even though I wanted the room to look Balinese.  I don't know where the hell I came up with a Bali-inspired room.  I have never been to Bali. Who knows?  Inspiration strikes for no apparent reason.  It sure the hell isn't practical.  And it's never boring.  Like the "Big Reveal" party I planned for a few of my friends to come "ooh and ahh" at my room.  Listen.  Listen to the copious "oohs and ahhs"!

(More friends came later.  And things got more interesting as the night wore on.) 

I'm sure Bali looks NOTHING like this at all.  

See what I mean?  NOT BORING!  And for the record, I only made the bed for this picture.  Because I half ass things and making the bed seems like a huge waste of time when you're only going to get back in it and mess it up again.  (Plus I had to make my bed every day as a kid and I'm still rebelling against that one.)

 Bali must have lots of Buddahs.  Right?

I know it looks like this Buddha head would have a poetic travel story to accompany it (my camel bench does), but I confess, it's from Hobby Lobby.  But vintage Hobby Lobby from like 9 years ago.  So, totally like hipster-cool or something.  Heavy on the something.

My biggest fan.

My biggest fan, is in fact, a pretty big fan.

Women always want to play on the pole. 

Totem pole or stripper pole?  Feminism is so confusing. 

I call this move 'Dead Man's Float'

Although he's not selling it with his eyes.  And he looks like he needs a life jacket. My friend Ken did realize he should tip strippers better.

Warning:  Empty your bladder before playing.

Then, when the kids ditched us and took off for the park down the street, we started playing Cards Against Humanity.  If you have not played this game, do NOT play it with children in earshot and be prepared that you will do your hardiest, thus ugliest laugh you are capable of.  Come to think of it, we should have played it in my room.  Just to make things even more inappropriate.  But that's ok...

No more scratching to get out of my bedroom.

Because I have a feeling I'm gonna be spending a lot more time in my Bali-wood inspired retreat.

Blissfully, alone.