Fan Mail

I'm not good at taking compliments. In fact, I am exceptionally good and at avoiding them, changing the topic of conversation and if all those other deflection techniques fail, stopping-dropping-and-rolling. Yeah, like I'm on fire. This avoidance also goes for blog awards. Which I can't get myself to accept. It's not that I'm not appreciative, it's just that they might penetrate my self depreciating inner core filled with magma. And do you know how messy that would be to clean up? Extremely.

Some flattery is easier to blow off than others. Words printed in a public forum are very near the top of my list. Especially, I must confess, if you're a blogger, I'm way too wary to take your approving comments to heart. No offense, as my daughter Jade says right after she offends. There are of course exceptions to that rule. A few very devout fellow bloggers that read nearly every post and I can't seem to shake even with my anti-social, anti-blogging ways. Not that I want to. Cause they are also some of my favorite writers.

What it comes down to is, I write for me. I write what I want. When I want to. The most important thing to me is to be honest and content with my final product. Most of the time I am. Sometimes I fail myself. I'm a perfectionist. This must be why Meyers-Briggs suggest I work alone. Because I drive myself crazy enough. No one else should be subjected to my constant editing and intense comma conundrums.

The thing is, I get so involved in my writing, sometimes I forget I have readers. Because most of my readers aren't bloggers and most don't comment publicly. But, I get the most amazing compliments from readers privately. People I've never met who send me fan mail. Or stop me in the grocery store. These are people from all walks of life. Cultures. Ages. Politics. Religion. Sex. I have a very diverse and a very funky cool following. It's that quiet allegiance that is most flattering to me. The fact that you take time out of your life to read my words and welcome me and my family into your life. And that you keep coming back for more.

Don't worry, I'm going to get a big head or anything. Because, I've also gotten hate mail. Now, I thought I would hate hate mail. But, honestly, it's the second biggest compliment. No. I'm totally not kidding. After all, something I wrote pissed someone off so bad that they took time out of their lives to look up my e-mail address and to detail how much they detested or disagreed with what I wrote. Usually both. But, they still took time out to read it. And consider it. Maybe it planted a seed. Maybe that seed got intercepted by a bird who ate it and shit it out. Whatever.

What I'm trying to say is...

Love me or hate me. Or love to hate me. Whichever. I want you to know I appreciate you. And, I'm sending a very sincere thank you to each and every one of my readers! Oh, and happy holiday wishes too.

(FYI-I'll be taking two weeks of vacation disconnected from the rest of the world. But, I'll be back in the new year. And I'm sure I'll have lots to write about.)