Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Cheap Sunglasses

If there's one thing you're going to need lots of this summer, besides sunscreen, it's sunglasses.  You'd think you only need one pair, but that's not the case.  Oh, you'll have a favorite pair of sunglasses that you'll wear all the time.  But, you know that'll end in disaster because they get so much use it's highly likely you're going to scratch the lenses, lose them or just straight up break them.  So, you'll need back up.  This is why you get cheap sunglasses.  And let's face it, everyone looks better in sunglasses.    They are the original filters for your face.  So it's important to choose the right pair.  


Aviators are probably my favorite type of sunglasses.  They're universally flattering on pretty much anyone's face.  Plus, they're casual and sporty but they still have an intimidating CHIPS vibe at the same time.  But, not the mirrored ones, they just make you look like a douchebag.  I don't know why, I don't make the rules, they just do.  But, the thing about aviators are those the little pads that rest on your nose.  Not only do they fall off, but when I push my glasses up to sit them on top of my head, they get tangled in my hair.  And do you know what looks really uncool?  Having both hands above your head desperately trying to untangle your hair from your sunglasses, which takes at least 5 minutes and usually another set of hands (and eyes) to do.  That's why I never actually wear aviators in real life.  But, I keep them as back up just in case I lose my six other pairs of sunglasses.


If you see me wearing sunglasses, chances are they are wayfarers.  They're both classic in design and plastic, which is important when you're accident prone like I am, but you still want to look Johnny Cash kinda cool.  Bonus, I can push these up on top of my head pulling my hair back away from my face because they double a headband.  This comes in handy if it's windy and you have hair blowing in your face and sticking to the chapstick on your lips.  Or if you have a dramatic moment that needs to be accentuated by looking someone in the eye, like you just solved a murder.  The problem with these sunglasses are if you get a pair that's too tight on your head.  And of course you won't know you've bought a pair that are too tight until you're wearing them and get a headache.  I bought two pair recently that did exactly that until I finally found this pair (see above photo).  And I'm positive I'm going to break these soon because they're absolutely perfect.
 

I hate to admit this, but the most perfect kind of sunglasses are the ones that make you look like a total bitch, they way Victoria Beckham does.  I know, I don't like it anymore than you do, but it's the truth.  First off, they kind of wrap around your eye, so no light gets in through the side.  It's almost like an eye patch, really, but one you can see through.  But, the best part is...you don't have to maintain your eyebrows.  You could have overgrown Drake eyebrows going on under there or maybe you had an over plucking mishap and now they're uneven.  No one will ever know!  And no one even wants to know because you look like such a raving bitch in those glasses that no one even wants to get to know you. Now, you could say that that's the downside to these glasses.  Unless you're an antisocial introvert.  In which case, these are best glasses ever because they provide built in people repellent.

Whichever sunglasses you chose, just know that people are judging you in direct proportion to how much you're judging them in theirs.  So, choose wisely.  

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