Friday, January 5, 2018

Hostile Showers

There is always one question that begs to be answered when you travel.  And that question is...WTF is with the shower?  Because everywhere you go, the showers are all different.  Although, the frustration of how to operate the shower is the same.  But, compound that frustration if you're staying at a hostel instead of a hotel.

When you're at a hotel, you have your own shower, in your own bathroom with a lock guaranteeing privacy even.  While staying at a hostel is like living in a college dormitory again.   If I get up at 7:00am will there be any showers available?  Or will I have to wait in line in my pajamas and flip flops with sleep in my eyes and morning breath, my arms heaped full with a towel, my clothes (underwear and bra discreetly tucked in between so they aren't on display), soap, shampoo, conditioner and razor?  And perhaps the most important question...will there be any hot water left?  Which is why I get up at least a half an hour to an hour earlier than I need to just to ensure I actually get a (hopefully hot) shower.  I mean, I'm already sleeping on a bunk bed and sharing a bedroom with 5 other people, this is my only opportunity for solitude the whole day, I'm damn sure gonna take it.

Then, there you are in the shower, taking off your clothes wondering where the hell do I put them?  There's one hook and at least 6 items that need to be hung up.  Including the towel.  And it's too small of a hook to pile them all on top of each other.  So, the clean underwear you worked so hard to covertly get into the shower stall is now hung over the top of the shower stall door with the rest of your clothes, splayed out for all to see.  And while your plan was to keep the flip flops on so you don't get a fungal infection from the shower as a souvenir of your trip, you had to take them off to get your pj bottoms off.  Which means you're already contaminated.  So screw it.  Do you know how slippery it is to take a shower with flip flops on anyway?  Risking athlete's foot is a better trade off than chancing a herniated disc in your spine.

This is when you realize you haven't used the toilet yet.  And you really, really need to pee.  So, you take the towel off the hook, wrap it around your naked body and trade the shower stall for a toilet stall, which is really a pain in the ass.  Which gets you to many people are too lazy to get out of the shower stall and pee right there in the shower?  The communal shower you're standing in now with bare feet.  You rush to turn on the shower.  But, nothing is happening.  No water is coming out at all, not even cold.  And you've turned all the dials.  WTF is with the shower?  So, you get out of the shower, wrap the towel around yourself to check to see if the empty shower stall next door works.  And it doesn't either.  OMG...WTF?  So you check another one.  You don't know what you did, but it works!  But, now you have to move all your stuff over to the new stall.  In your towel.  And hope it doesn't fall off while your hands are full during the transfer process. Because that would be precisely the time that someone walks into the bathroom to witness the spectacle.

It's all going to pay off now though because you've got a shower that works!  In fact it works so well, that the shower head sprays clear to the shower door and soaks the towel that you've hung on the hook.  WTF...this hostel shower is utterly hostile!  And now, so am I because this is how I spent my 5 minutes of peace and quiet for the day.  

1 comment: said...

It's not just hostels that have that problem. SO many hotels are driving us wild with ridiculously confounding handles, switches, pull-outs, push-ins, that it's always an adventure.
My last hotel only had places for the towels CLEAR across the 8 foot bathroom. And the shower would dampen the towel if one draped it over the top...
Hmm. That's why an upturned garbage can came in handy. (I covered the bottom/top of the can with the face towel that I never use, so my towel would stay [relatively] uncontaminated.


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