Why do I always get the crazy person at the stop light next to me who gives me the cranking roll-down-your-window gesture? And why do I always roll down the window because a stranger is gesticulating at me? It happened again just the other day, a very cold and snowy one. And it was a man in his 70's.
"Your tag expired in July of this year", he said pointing at my back license plate.
"Really? Ummmmm.......ok.........thanks." But I really didn't mean it. What I meant was what-is-your-problem-he-who-must-have-too-much-time-on-his-hands-and-misreads-other-people's-license-plates-I-have-places-to-go-and-things-to-do-mister!
But, I vowed to double check my tag when I got to my destination just in case. And when I went around back, indeed the old crazy guy was........RIGHT. How could this be? Maybe we let one of the kids put the registration sticker on and they put it on the wrong car. Or maybe one of them lost the registration postcard that comes in the mail. Cause it must somehow be my kids' fault.
Then, I was talking to a friend who said someone peeled the registration sticker off of her license plate a couple of years ago. Aha! That MUST be it. Some malicious douchebag stole my registration sticker off my car. What IS the world coming to anyway? Now I'm going to have to spend a week at the DMV to clear up this horrible act of vandalism. Where is the humanity? WHERE?
The next morning I checked the DMV website, looking for what documentation I would need to haul in with me to plead my innocence. I ran my license plate number through the on-line system to arm myself with even more evidence for defending myself. And to my horror, my car was unregistered. And there was only one person to blame. ME.
Cause you do know I'm an unorganized mess who constantly screws things up, RIGHT?
So I tucked my tail between my legs, got the old registration and proof of insurance and headed to stand in line at the DMV, for what I was sure was a long haul, while texting my husband, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???" To which he replied, "HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU HAVE?' When I got to the counter in less than 5 minutes, I didn't have to plead anything. She was nice and helpful and assigned me a new sticker no questions asked. Although when she handed it to me, I got all teary right there in the DMV in front of a stranger because I was so thankful. And then I had to confess the whole story. Not that she even wanted to hear it.
What IS wrong with me? Why am I forgetting things and crying in the DMV? Oh my god, I'm the crazy, old, suspicious, bitter lady who blames everyone else. because, maybe, I'm a premenopausal mess. This is the long haul right here. So I would just like to offer these words to my husband, family and friends both retroactively and anticipatory: "I'm sorry!", for my inevitable screw ups and "Thank you!", for putting up with me!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!